Life's rough days

I felt like today was kind of rough for me.

It started off hard enough. You know one of those days where things seem to just get worse than the last moment.

I dropped my husband off to work around 4 in the morning. He will be gone for a week, so I not only wanted to say good-bye, but I also wanted to help him out a bit. 

Drove home to find that my husband accidentally kept the key to our home. So, spent half an hour trying to get into my home.

Went straight to bed, (needing much rest after that) to find I could not fall asleep, even though  my body was screaming "GO TO SLEEP!" 

Went to my cousins birthday party, which by the way seemed to put a smile on my face. I loved seeing my family and being around them! 

Then the ball dropped, not all of them knew about me losing our baby. I held back my tears as I explained it. All I wanted to do was run and hide in a corner. 

All of the points int he road seem so sharp 

I am struggling to find my way. 

I look to you, see me threw,

but realize that I have to be my biggest fan.

My bestie Pri, says we should think of at least one positive thing a day and focus on it. My positive was my family. Being able to converse with them, being able to smile and laugh. I tried to stay positive and smile. you know the old saying "fake it till you make it" I thought maybe if I smile enough and laugh enough no one could tell that I was hurting inside, if I smiled enough people would not see my sadness. 

Just because she is smiling does that mean she is happy?

I am happy with my family, I love my family! It just hurts  my heart so much losing my baby. 

But, it is going to take one day at a time. So this again was my positive of the day. MY FAMILY! 

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill;
stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit

It’s when things go wrong that you must not quit.